


sakura

by lovkevn



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Mentioned NCT Dream Ensemble, Unrequited Love, jisung im so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-11-05 11:49:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17918222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovkevn/pseuds/lovkevn
Summary: he didn't think it would happen to him





	sakura

the first petals came during promotions for black on black.

jisung had burst out of the practice room and into the bathroom with the feeling of needing to throw up. ignoring everyone's calls to him he locked himself into a stall and watched in shock as the pink petals spotted in blood filled the toilet bowl. he felt his heart sink at the sight, pushing himself backwards towards the wall as hot tears fell down his cheeks. he was about to cough up some more before someone had walked into the bathroom and called out his name.

"jisung, are you alright?"

it was taeyong worring like he always does. jisung swallowed the petals back down to respond.

"yeah i feel really sick i think i need to go home." "okay well i'll get mark to take you back, come out when you're ready he will be at the door be sure to get some rest okay."

_mark lee_

that was the last person he wanted to see right now because if it weren't for mark lee he wouldn't be on the bathroom floor of the practice room coughing up these petals.

his feelings for mark started at the beginning of 2017. he wasn't exactly sure why but he felt himself really admiring the elder, he found himself amazed at marks skills and hard work and the way he took care of everyone, he felt himself fall for him more and more each day. so he told chenle and to this day chenle is the only one that knows, chenle is his best friend and has never ever been judgemental towards jisung they shared everything. but for the safety of the group he decided this would be the one thing he didnt share with him. 

the walk home with mark was painful and silent, knowing that all of the pain he was going to endure is because the person he loves the most doesn't feel the same was awful.

so from that day on it became a normal thing.

he would excuse himself to the bathroom and cough up more, the size of the petals were getting larger and harder to get out meaning more blood was coming along with it. he hated seeing those petals, they reminded him of a time mark took him out for ice cream and they sat under a cherry blossom tree. that day was one of the happiest of his life and now it was coming back to him like this.

everyday he felt himself getting weaker, his dancing was getting sloppy and he got tired way quicker than normal.

it started to worry the others seeing him so pale and out of breath just watching jisung deteriorate infront of their eyes.

he knew he was going to die with his love towards mark being forever one sided, he felt it and although he was completely terrified he had slowly learnt to accept it because he knew that mark saw him as nothing other than a younger brother. although there was the option of getting the surgery that would mean every single feeling he had towards mark would dissapear and he didn't want that. he would rather suffer through this pain because the truth is he loved mark and couldn't imagine not loving him and forgetting it all.

he never wanted to forget that night they had ice cream, how mark would compliment him as his rapping skills grew, how mark would give him a hug after every show telling him how well he did, how he would go to mark when he had troubles with no fear of judgement or shame.

he never wanted to forget how mark would  rub his back when he was upset, how mark ran his fingers through his hair when he was tired, how mark would cuddle him to sleep everytime he had a nightmare, how mark would leave a kiss on his temple everytime he was feeling sick.

he wanted to remember and cherish every memory for as long as he could even if it mean't dying.

it was a few months in and the petals had gotten so much worse even developing small branches which would scratch at his throat. he couldnt go an hour without running to the bathroom and everyones concern started to grow larger. he always had an excuse he could never imagine telling them and making mark feel guilty for not feeling the same way he knew mark would never be able to forgive himself.

then one day he woke up and went to the bathroom to the feeling of some petals scratching at his throat and when they didn’t come out and instead blocked his airways he knew today was the day.

he was going to die.

he planned to go to practice and then come home early and let it happen when he was alone.

his plans didn't work out.

"okay guys have a break!" mark called out to the group as they all went to go sit down and have a drink when suddenly jisung started coughing.

the coughing kept going until a single petal fell onto the floor, jaemin saw it first running over to jisung immediately.

"oh my god jisung did you cough that-" he couldn't finish his sentence before multiple petals and branches started coming out of jisungs body causing him to fall to the floor and onto the pile of blood and petals he had just let out.

everyone in the room was crying and confused before chenle spoke up "jisung how long?" "it's fine." "jisung i said how long!" jisung was scared, chenle never raised his voice like that.

"a few months." chenle had broken down he couldn't control the tears flowing from his eyes before he turned towards mark.

"this is your fault all your fucking fault!" he screamed in a voice so angry and pained, jisung tried to get up and stop him before it escalated "chenle stop-" "no jisung this is his fault because of him you're dying do you understand?" mark just stood there with wide eyes completely confused. "what are you talking about jisung i-"

the sound of jisung coughing and gasing for air cut him off causing everyone to start panicking. the petals had stopped coming out and instead started building up in his throat blocking his ability to breathe. no one knew what to do but call an abulance and taeyong.

jeno and jaemin were on the phone to doyoung while taeyong was driving and donghyuck called an ambulance over to their address. mark had broken down in guilt not being able to look over at jisung who was being held by chenle and renjun who were both trying to keep him alive.

it was time.

jisung pulled two letters out from his front pocket and gave them to mark before laying his head onto chenle's lap and closing his eyes to the feeling of renjun rubbing his back.

and the last thing he heard was taeyong burst into the room and scream before everything went black.


End file.
